[Letter from Elizabeth Upshur Teackle to her sister, Ann Uphsur Eyre - June 26, 1803]

1st sheet} June 26^th 1803 Princess Anne

Already, my dear sister, do I reproach myself with deserving the character of a lazy correspondent which degrading epithet I saucily attached to you not 6 months since, and as indulging in any evil propensity will strengthen the tie which binds your mind to it, I am resolv’d to struggle ‘till I free myself from the strong one I feel to the Daemon Idleness. We are so prone to charge others with faults when we are on the verge of committing those faults ourselves, nay often in the constant practice of them, that I begin to think it a good rule to prepare to amend an error in our own hearts the instant we discover that error in a friend. If people wou’d only employ themselves in this laudable manner instead of making it their business to [Gossip|Trumpet the faults]] of their neighbours, how

more respectable, more happy wou’d the world be? But mankind will always be the same. ‘Tis in human nature, so Mrs. Moralist might write “line upon line and precept upon precept”¹ and still the world wou’d just be as it is. Therefore, I shall give myself no farther trouble about it, but employ my head in pursuits better adapted to my capacity.

Some good natured souls have lately troubled themselves hugely about the good of our family. I mean the family of which I am now happily a member. You may have heard of an affair which has lately agitated our family in which Mr. Geo. Jackson has borne a conspicuous part. Mr. J. had paid his addresses three successive years to our sister Sarah. It commenced about the time I was married, she being scarcely a woman and by no means understanding the true meaning of love and being too young to form a just idea of the affection due to the married state. She felt a prepossession

for him as all young girls do for their first beau and did not take an early opportunity to put a final stop to his courtship. In the mean time he never gave the most distant hint of his intentions to any of her family, but the thing went on in that improper way for the length of time that I have mention’d. She felt highly offended at his negligence and that with numerous instances of mystery in his conduct first led her to probe her heart. Wounded pride is a foe to love. She cou’d not reconcile it to herself to marry a man whose conduct was at once mysterious and reprehensible. It wore her love away to the shadow and that which once was an affection became an uneasy sensation which kept her continually unhappy. From not having put a stop to the affair at an earlier period, she felt herself bound to Mr. J. and when toward the latter part of it he insisted on her to marry him, she engaged to do so. She expected that he wou’d certainly then consult her family but still he

neglected to do it.

I am rather too fast for my narrative. Before her engagement she went to New York to finish her education. During her stay there, Mr. J. wrote not once nor did she hear from him at all. Her mind was then easy, she concluded he had given over the matter and that their flirtation was ended. Mr. Bancker, a respectable merchant of Philadelphia in the mean time, saw her in N. York and was very much pleased with her, in fact paid her every attention which a man deeply in love cou’d do. As he was universally admired by all the girls of his acquaintance in N.Y. Sarah thought little of his attention to her, modestly supposing that it arose rather from politeness than any regard for her, a country girl. However, he returned to Philadelphia and in a few weeks she pass’d through that city on her return home with her father and sisters. Mr. B. call’d on her whilst there, was very attentive, and to end the matter, courted her.

Experience had by that time told her how improper it was for a young girl to suffer her affections to be engaged too suddenly, and added to this the idea of leaving her friends and that they wou’d not consent to her marrying a man so far from them, she refused his offer. Not speaking of it to her parents, she had taken up the idea they wou’d object to his addresses. After she came home, Mr. J. renewed his attentions and in a short time the engagement took place as I have mention’d. This I firmly believe was against the dictates of her heart, but from a mistaken notion of honour: she ought to have consider’d Mr. J’s conduct as a release. It was always strange. He wou’d be very attentive three months and then perhaps neither seen nor write for six. It was evident he wish’d to keep her ready to marry him when he pleased without committing himself by any positive engagement to her or her father, mother, sisters, or brother. I

shou’d have supposed that from the overflowings of his heart and warmth of his affection, he wou’d have mention’d it to her brother or sister as their parity of years and intimacy might be supposed to take off all restraint. But he wish’d to keep himself free in case another more convenient match shou’d turn up, that he might easily break with Sarah. At any rate that is the only construction I can put on it. Well, in a few weeks after she thought her fate irrevocably fixed, Mr. B. made his appearance at Kegotank. Different from Mr. J., he candidly made known to papa and the family his pretentions, soliciting Sarah to smile on him. Poor girl! She then too late saw the horrors of her situation. Her heart attach’d to one, and in honour bound to another, and that other acting so incandidly when compar’d to the open generous and manly conduct of Mr. B, that she cou’d not bear the comparison. Her mind became agitated in the

extreme and her parents seeing and being astonish’d at it insisted to know the meaning of her perturbation. She then open’d the whole of Mr. Jackson’s behaviour and her doubts. All was news to papa and mama. They were naturally offended and papa demanded of Mr. J. an explanation. He gave some slight excuses and insisted that Sarah shou’d fulfill her engagement, which she then confirm’d considering her honour at stake. Our parents having long determin’d never to controul their children in an affair so deeply interesting to their happiness, gave their unhesitating approbation. But still when ever any mention of the marriage was made, she wou’d constantly appear distress’d and at times exceedingly agitated which grieved her indulgent parents to the heart, for they had done every thing to make her happy. They urged her to consider well and then act for herself. The result of which was, she wrote to Mr. J. telling him she never cou’d be his

consistent with her happiness.

This his family took much in dudgeon, and I fear have taken many opportunities of speaking unwarrantably of our’s.

Many idle reports have circulated unworthy the attention of any candid mind,
but still the Trumpeters will do their duty and many take a delight in echoing their idle tales. It is now currently reported that papa forces Sarah to marry Mr. B. for his money when her heart is with the other. How unaccountable is this world? If papa has acted wrong at all it has been in not dictating enough to his child. He did all he cou’d to strengthen her mind and assist her judgement, and even if he had have broken off the connexion with Mr. J. from the moment he found Sarah’s heart was not his, he might have saved her many struggles.

I have given you an account of this because I know you take an interest in the happiness of Mr. Teackle’s

family, which has been exceeding interested by this affair. The connexion which subsists between Mr. J’s sister and Mr. John Dennis² places our family in a delicate situation.

I believe I have not written to you since my return from Baltimore. I know you have abused me not a little for finding time to make so long a journey when want of it was my excuse for not visiting you. Why the cases are quite different. I might never again have had such another opportunity of seeing that city and as mama was kind enough to take charge of my family in my absence and my friends being anxious to plan my amusement, I cou’d not but thank them and benefit by their goodness.

I have been told you contemplated visiting Princess Ann this summer. I hope the idea will not be suffer’d to die away without my having the happiness to see you here. My N__n friends and I have

become such strangers to each other that I begin to fear they have ceased to love me or to think as much of me as I do of them.

Do write me a long letter and at the same time giving your opinion of the affair I have laid before you and letting me [know] what time I may expect you up, for ‘twou’d mortify Mr. Teackle again to be from home when you are here. My dear girl, let us no longer waste time in frivolous excuses. Only come here and when you see how much I have on my mind, you will surely think yourself to blame in observing punctilio³ in your intercourse with a sister. An only sister too, and one who loves you sincerely, come and see me busy as a bee, but not genteel yet according to your ideas of it. For I still have great hams and joints of beef for breakfast. The greatest part of this summer we have had from 23 to 24 white persons in family and very nearly as many blacks

in the kitchen. Notwithstanding, I am very well and thank God extremely happy. Will you come? Will Aunt Kendall come? Poor Aunt Kendall! You ought to write not only on your own account, but that I might hear from her. I wrote her very lately which she has not acknowledged. Give her mine and Mr. T’s sincere love. Also accept a large share for yourself and sposo.⁴ Present us respectfully to your mama.

It is now bedtime and therefore [torn page] nig[ht] torn page] pleasant slumbers attend torn page] if you can sleep in such hot weather “mit your wife”.

Your sister with affection
Eliza Teackle, Jun^r.

Kegotank July 15th

This letter has been written some time, but have neglected sending it till now. The Mr. Bancker I was telling you of is now here accompanied by a young gentleman, Mr. Hall of Philadelphia. I am very anxious to see you.

Farewell
Your sister E.T.

Drummond Town⁵
July 13^th 1803
Mrs. Ann Eyre
Eyre Hall
Northampton